Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
