I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
