your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
