dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize