You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
