Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you win again, gameday.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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