The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
