he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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