wat bout pragnant strippers??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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