let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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