it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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