You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
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I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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