There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My feet surprised me
Randomize
