Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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