once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
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I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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