Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The power of my boobs compel you
Ladies don't puke and tell
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
