I just pynch a tree in the face
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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