Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
