It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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