how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
