Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
