I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
