i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
