I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
not ubering you a puppy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
