Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Randomize
