i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
did i just pee glitter
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
