Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
