I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
