Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
