Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you would pick up someone in the library
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
