Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
