I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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