he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
