So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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