How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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