Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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