Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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