we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize