We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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