sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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