Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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