Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
