please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
