he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
