that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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