On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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