So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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