Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
