I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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