i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize