ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
