and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize