i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Randomize
