me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
